Far away

Being far away from things/people you love can sometimes be hard. This weekend I have been thinking about home a lot. I miss being home, but I am not home sick(maybe a little).
I was talking to some of my brothers and sisters the other day and it hit me how much I wish you could send really hugs through text message. I was talking to them about the foster kids that are living with them right now. We were talking about how the kids are going to be there for Christmas this year. And how it is going to be way different then other years. And it is going to be, the kids are going to be there, I won't be around for holidays this year. So yeah different is the right word to use.
But that wasn't the hard part. I was asking 2 of my brothers how they were doing with the idea of having the kids there for Christmas. And one of my brothers said he didn't want them there and that he just wanted to run away. I just wanted to be there to give him a huge hug and take him away from the pain he is feeling. I have realized that having foster kids living with them has changed life A LOT! And I have seen some of the changes that have been made. And it is even hard for me to see some of the changes done. My brothers always tell me, "you don't know how it is. You don't have to live here with them." And that is very true, I don't live there. But I have visited and seen how it is. And I know how it is to have your world turned upside down. And it isn't fun at all. Most the time it hurts a lot. When we were talking I kept thinking of the last time I was a mission nanny. It was not good. I was supper homesick and the family I lived with wasn't the greatest. But in the end and now that I look back on it. I wouldn't change having that time in my life. I grew a lot in my faith, closer to my family, and I met some great people who help me get through it. So sometimes when what seems like the end of the world or just awful it could be Gods way of helping you grow.  It isn't going to be easy. And sometimes God seems so far away, but he's not. He is standing right there with you.

~Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will NEVER fail you or abandon you. ~ Deuteronomy 31:8